Free Writing.
Music, by Nicole Peyer
Music. A part of my world, something that motivates me, means a lot to me. The many beats take over as your mind loses control. You sway back and forth and the rythm makes you move in whatever way you chose to express it. Lyrics from the songs tell stories that you are to afraid to tell yourself. Without music I would go completely insane and would feel so out of touch with the real world that we live in. From the slow, beautiful, peaceful songs to the loud, upbeat, and filthy drops, there is so much variety. You are able to create new sounds in your head, the ones that appeal to you. This is in a way your creation of a form of music. Everyone likes something different. Scribbled across the paper my thoughts flow. Painting pictures in my mind, the louder the better. I've found my escape in music. With music there are no limits, its always an endless oportunity. Big beats and bass can rock your body, take you to a state where you can lose your mind in pure bliss. Your heart beats fast to match the pounding sounds through your ears. Sometimes it can be a lot to take in all at once. People gather together in places to appreciate the same songs and artists they enjoy. Music lives on forever, and when all else fails music speaks. For every mood, emotion, feeling, and situation you can find a song that will match it. With instruments and other ways to make sounds you can be sure to never get bored with the same thing. Some people go to the point of taking drugs to alter their senses and enhance the sound and feeling they crave. I will always keep a special place in my heart for the songs that have touched me so deep. I have been moved by songs. Some have even had me change my life completely. Everyone has a song that makes them think a certain way when they hear it. From the moment music filled my ears I believe I was hooked, obsessed, addicted, and fully in love. Music is my drug.
Music. A part of my world, something that motivates me, means a lot to me. The many beats take over as your mind loses control. You sway back and forth and the rythm makes you move in whatever way you chose to express it. Lyrics from the songs tell stories that you are to afraid to tell yourself. Without music I would go completely insane and would feel so out of touch with the real world that we live in. From the slow, beautiful, peaceful songs to the loud, upbeat, and filthy drops, there is so much variety. You are able to create new sounds in your head, the ones that appeal to you. This is in a way your creation of a form of music. Everyone likes something different. Scribbled across the paper my thoughts flow. Painting pictures in my mind, the louder the better. I've found my escape in music. With music there are no limits, its always an endless oportunity. Big beats and bass can rock your body, take you to a state where you can lose your mind in pure bliss. Your heart beats fast to match the pounding sounds through your ears. Sometimes it can be a lot to take in all at once. People gather together in places to appreciate the same songs and artists they enjoy. Music lives on forever, and when all else fails music speaks. For every mood, emotion, feeling, and situation you can find a song that will match it. With instruments and other ways to make sounds you can be sure to never get bored with the same thing. Some people go to the point of taking drugs to alter their senses and enhance the sound and feeling they crave. I will always keep a special place in my heart for the songs that have touched me so deep. I have been moved by songs. Some have even had me change my life completely. Everyone has a song that makes them think a certain way when they hear it. From the moment music filled my ears I believe I was hooked, obsessed, addicted, and fully in love. Music is my drug.
Art and Photography.
My Birth Story.
It all started in late January when I had my last mensturation. A little while after my baby was concieved. No one knew it yet but she had already started her journey on becoming a little person of her own. When the end of Febuary came and I had not started bleeding yet I was a little bit concerned, but thought I could just be a week late because it had happened before. Plus my breasts were a little tender and that usually always happens right before I start. Me and my boyfriend both had the flu as well so I thought my body might be acting up because of that reason. I had been sick for weeks. One day on our way home from a friends I told him that I had not started my period yet for that month. He had a feeling I was pregnant. We both decided to go get a pregnancy test so that we could be certain on if I was pregnant or not. The next morning I woke up feeling anxious to take the test. I got one of the sticks out of the box, followed the instructions, and went into my room so that I could get ready to go to school. In my head I thought that there was no way that I was pregnant. Five minutes later I went back into the bathroom to read the results. The test had a dark line and another line next to it that was barely there. I was in denial and thought that maybe its not right because the line isnt very dark. I went to grab the second test and this time I did it and watched as it made the two lines appear, just as it had the first time. Immediatly I started crying. I sent my boyfriend a text saying that the tests came back positive and that I was pregnant. We both agreed to talk about it in person. Since I had school I pulled myself together as much as possible and decided to go. The whole bus ride from Silt to Glenwood felt like the longest ride ever. My mind would not stop thinking about what I was going to do, how I would tell my parents, and how I let this happen. I had to keep my composure to prevent people from asking me what was wrong. Once I got to school I cried for a while and decided to go talk to Laura our schools counseler. She suggested that I go over to Planned Parenthood so that they could confirm that I was pregnant, see about how far along I was, and give me my options. I called my boyfriend so that we could go together. He came and picked me up and we drove to the closest Planned Parenthood. I did the test and a few minutes later the lady came in. The test indicated that I was pregnant and by the last day of my last period I was 4 weeks pregnant and my due date would be October 28th. She gave me all of the handouts and explained some of my options. Since I wasn't very far along we had time to think and make our decision. We then drove to 7/11 and parked. We talked for about an hour straight and both decided we wanted a baby, but didn't know if we were ready. At that moment no decision was made. He told me that whatever I decided would be okay with him and he would be here for whatever was to happen. For the next day I thought about my options. It was now time to tell my parents, but I still didn't know how to because I was so scared I would let them down or dissapoint them. I went to school and asked for some advice from Laura. Since it would be something that would change our lives forever and take a while to accept that I was pregnant it was something that I had to do carefully. The best way to tell them and let them have time to process the news would be by a letter. The next morning I left it on the table before I went to school. My mom was the one who read the letter and called my dad and told him. At first they were in shock and didn't know what to do. When I got home from school and my dad got home from work we all sat down to discuss it. They were really supportive and suggested that I take lots of time to consider my options. After about two weeks of thinking I made the decision to keep the baby. It took some time for everyone to adjust to the situation. Soon family, my boyfriend, friends, and me were all excited. The first three months I was not sick at all and just felt more tired than usual. My parents and I went to my first ultrasound when I was eight weeks pregnant. It was the first time we got to see the baby. We did not know the gender and it looked like a little bean. This was when everything became real to me. As the weeks passed I started taking prenatal vitamins, eating healthy and loving pregnancy. We decided to start planning a baby shower. We got so many decorations, snacks, games, activities, and prizes. At twelve weeks I went in for another ultrasound with my boyfriend and his other daughter. They both were smiling and anxious for the day the baby would be here and we could be a family. From this day on I couldn't stop wondering if we were having a girl or a boy. I always had a gut feeling that we would be having a boy but I was hoping for a girl. I started going to the doctor for prenatal check ups at fifteen weeks. At around sixteen weeks I felt the baby kick for the first time. It felt weird and kind of frightened me. It made my heart light up with love and accomplishment. A week before my baby shower at nineteen weeks me and my mom went to find out the gender. We walked in and she said she would first examine the baby to make sure it looked normal. To me this felt like it took forever and I couldn't wait another second. She finally got the answer and told us it was a girl! My mom started crying and I felt so happy. I had decided on the names I would like for both genders and since she was a girl her name would be Alicity Rose. The ultrasound went completely normal and she was healthy. That made me feel content. I got outside and told my boyfriend. He was kind of upset because he already has a daughter and wanted to have a boy. My dad was happy for me when I told him, I think it made him happy to. We celebrated and told everyone the news. At around twenty weeks I started to show and could feel her kicks strongly. My belly was still very small though. At the doctors they were now giving me multiple tests to make sure that me and the baby were making progress and staying healthy. We started buying all of the baby stuff and preparing her room. I wanted to give her everything and make sure that she would have everything she needs. My stomach grew and grew and at thirty weeks I started to notice I was hormonal and my emotions were a mess. My belly was very big now and she moved into head down position and had dropped. At thirty three weeks I started getting contractions and was going into labor early. We drove to the hospital, got hooked up to the monitors and the doctors started observing. They got my contractions to stop and I was sent home and told to rest. This was so scary to me because I did not want to have her early for the fear of something to go wrong and her to be unhealthy because she was not fully developed yet. At thirty four weeks I started to really feel the effects of pregnancy. I couldn't sleep very well, my back hurt more than ever, I'm super tired and hungry all the time, and every movement takes a lot more effort. The next few weeks I had done what I was told. I rested and waited while time moved so slow. A couple times I went into false labor swearing it was the real thing. I started to get really bad migraine headaches the week before I was due. I was counting down the days because I wanted to meet my precious angel. The thought of holding her in my arms brought me so much happiness. I learned so much during my time being pregnant through classes and advice. Labor could happen at anytime which made me nervous even though I knew what to expect. On October 15th I went into labor. Me and Manuel were hanging out at my house. I started cramping, but after a few times of false labor I just thought I would be back to normal in a couple hours. He went home because I wanted to take a bath to make me feel better and it was getting pretty late. An hour later I called him and said that I thought I was going into labor and that I was in more pain than ever. I also said that I wouldn't really be able to talk but would keep him informed. I tried to get out of the bath and grab a towel so that I could go tell my parents, but I was hurting so bad I didn't want to move. I took a few minutes then stumbled to their room across my house. I woke them up and tried to lay on the couch but it hurt to much so I got up and got into the bath again. I called my boyfriend and said that I would be going to the hospital as soon as my parents could get all my stuff in the car and I could get dressed. My dad and I got into the car around twelve, the drive was the longest one of my life every few minutes the pain was unberable. When we got into the room of the hospital they checked to see how far dialated I was. The doctor checked me and I was only at 1 1/2 cm dialated. The doctor told me she thought it was going to be a while and that I should probably go home so that I could be more comfortable. My boyfriend also heard the news and decided that he would go home and come back when it was close to time. At this time I was in so much pain that I just wanted to get back into the bath because that was the only thing that seemed to help, there was no way I was going to go all the way back home. Before I could get back into the bath I had to wait for them to check me again because my contractions were close together. We waited for fifteen minutes and they checked me again. This time I was at four cm. I was hurting so bad I had to have my dad call my boyfriend for me and tell him I was dialating fast and that he should turn around and come back because I was going to have the baby sooner than expected. We also called my mom and told her the same because she thought it was going to be a while as well. My mom said she would make sure we had everything from the house and would be on her way. I got into the bath and it felt a little better. My boyfriend was now at the hospital and sat with me outside the bath. After a while I wanted to get some medicine for pain relief so I had to get out of the bath. The boys didn't know how I was feeling and kept trying to talk to me to see if I needed anything. I was wanting to stop talking so I wanted everyone out of the room so I could have some quiet till i got the medicine. They all came back in with the IV and medicine. They gave it to me and it did help a little, but not so much to make a big difference. I layed there breathing, tossing, turning, and tired. I had never felt anything like this, I didn't know if I could handle anymore. I had to just keep thinking of my beautiful baby. My mom arrived and I had the nurse pushing on my back super hard to relieve some of the pain from my contractions. My mom joined her while they checked me again. I wanted the epidural because I was having back labor. This time I was dialated at an eight. They noticed the baby was "sunny side up" which means her back of her head was facing my back. This was the result of why I had back labor and was in so much pain. They broke my water and it felt warm and hurt a little. There was no time for the epidural because two minutes later I had the urge to push! By this point I just wanted everything to be over and done with, but knew it would be soon enough. My mom and boyfriend held my legs up in the air. After every contraction the urge to push would go away and I would have a chance to breath and think about my baby. I pushed as hard as I possibly could. I could soon feel her head. :) Even though I was exhausted I reached down to touch her. This was the first time I ever got to feel my baby. My mom was taking lots of pictures and I have a play by play of my daughters birth. At this point they decided to attach a fetal heart monitor into her head so that they could make sure she was okay because of her position. They said it would be harder to push her out and might take longer and they needed to make sure that she would be okay. Overall it took an hour and I had one more push. I pushed and they said to grab on to her arms. I did and I pulled her out and put her on to my chest. She was so small and warm. She was perfect. I was so tired and so in love all at the same time. That one moment was the best moment of my life. She came out crying and I knew she was okay so far. My boyfriend and parents never left her side while I layed there. While they were checking her and weighing her I still had to deliver the placenta. They pulled it out and it was very gross. I had Alicity Rose Archuleta on October 16th, 2011. She was completely healthy. I had her at 5:57 am. Alicity weighed 7 pounds 1 ounce and was 20 inches long. To me shes a miracle, shes my miracle. I love my beautiful girl. My pregnancy, delivery and this whole journey went so well and was so worth it. I'm truly blessed.